My Friend G......................

I was talking with a friend today about our worth as a women. The conversation started with a walk down memory lane remembering men we'd dated in college and I mused that it was sad that I couldn't remember the names of men that had meant something to me. We started talking about women and our attachment to men and G made a brilliant observation that as women we often times give of ourselves so freely that we forget what we need in return. She said its easier for a man to get a woman into bed than it is to buy a car and that its sad that we ask so little for ourselves.

The striking thing to me was how right she was. I think of myself as a smart woman and I value myself a great deal, but as I think about my relationship history I realize that I never tell the other person what I need. I mean i'm not sure you're suppose to present a list, but I never say so when i'm not getting it. I feel like i shouldn't have to ask, like if it's the right person what he gives me will be enough and when it's not I assume he's not the one and move on; but what if I asked? I mean what if in the failed relationships I've walked away from I'd just have said "look man, call me more often", or "i need us to go outside of the apartment more" or,"i hate that you dont tip enough" whould they have ended differently. We ladies always talk about lack of communication being the downfall of a relationship so perhaps thats what ive been guilty of.

At the heart of what G was saying was the woman though. I mean what she was saying was less about what we need from men and more not ofering what we have to give without thought of the value so I guess more important than telling my partner what I need I should value what I have to give more and ask that he earn it.